It is no secret I have a weakness for hot chocolate.
It is still my hot beverage of choice, long after my peers switched to a daily coffee habit. So what does hot chocolate have to do with dementia? Everything and nothing at all.
Nothing at all? Our lives do not become a compressed, medical version of ourselves when dementia enters the picture. So moments for play, a treat, or a visit from a loved one should never become a line item on the care plan or viewed with a medical lens. It should happen simply because, and enjoyed for the beauty of being in a relationship with a loved one.
Life is made up of Moments. Dementia does not change this; these moments become more important with dementia. They are moments of joy, sorrow, care, and faith. So make some hot chocolate in your favorite mug, sit down, breathe, and savor the moment.
Take a breath, make yourself a mug of hot chocolate, and pause.
Growing with intensity are the comments about not bothering to visit a loved one because they can’t talk, won’t remember them or the visit, and it is just a waste of time. It angers me, frustrates me, and is a cause for great sadness and reflection as to how we can better live in service of those living with dementia.
If you have ever thought about not visiting someone living with dementia because of where they are in their diagnosis, even if not acted upon, I want to encourage you to always, ALWAYS go! Visits may be difficult and sad, but always go! Always invite your loved ones into your life.
We have grown too accustomed to one-way conversations and connection, seeking what we get out of that time and effort. But the reality is in a true relationship, it is both what you receive, and more importantly what you give. In the past two Hot Chocolate Moments, I shared how you can use food and simple joys to engage and “break the ice” during a visit. Today I encourage you to allow yourself to feel all the sadness, all the tension, and all of the worry that might accompany you to each visit and then accept the invitation to find joy and laughter. To discover a new way of being in a relationship with your loved one. To discover new possibilities to love and be loved.
ALWAYS visit your loved ones! ALWAYS!
