July 10, 2025
Dear Dementia,
Can we talk about suffering for a moment? People do suffer after you enter the picture. Many people are fighting against this fact, some even aggressively so, and I see their point. However, we misunderstand suffering in our culture today. Suffering, is part of life and nothing to run from or spend too much time dwelling on. By denying it we exclude a part of our humanity. By dwelling on it, we exclude the possibility of flourishing.
When people say we should not say people living with dementia are suffering, what is their goal with that statement? If it is to ignore this deep element of our human existence, then I will be arguing against their statement. Or, (and this is what I think most people are trying to say) are they burnt out by the only doom and gloom narrative people like to tell in our media, in our stories, in our conversation. If that is the case, I will join them on that mission.
Suffering is part of love, growth, and even hope. Suffering shows us what we love in a way no other element of our humanity can. Suffering helps us grow spiritually, relationally, and emotionally. Suffering helps us redirect or focus so that we can be a people of hope.
Do you agree with me, dementia? You are not simply doom and gloom. You are BOTH doom and gloom, AND flourishing. Suffering helps direct that both/and.
So there! And, on that note, we continue to explore both your simplicity AND your complexity. Your deeply personal AND deeply communal nature.
Until tomorrow,
Kate
