It is no secret I have a weakness for hot chocolate.
It is still my hot beverage of choice, long after my peers switched to a daily coffee habit. So what does hot chocolate have to do with dementia? Everything and nothing at all.
Nothing at all? Our lives do not become a compressed, medical version of ourselves when dementia enters the picture. So moments for play, a treat, or a visit from a loved one should never become a line item on the care plan or viewed with a medical lens. It should happen simply because, and enjoyed for the beauty of being in a relationship with a loved one.
Life is made up of Moments. Dementia does not change this; these moments become more important with dementia. They are moments of joy, sorrow, care, and faith. So make some hot chocolate in your favorite mug, sit down, breathe, and savor the moment.
We are halfway through the month. This December has been one of the colder Decembers in recent years, with the wind, fierce, the frost, beautiful, and the cold, bitter. Does the world outside your window match what is going on interiorly? Or are these two worlds contradictory to one another? Maybe a bit of both?
For me, it is a bit of both. And as I sit here with my (gasp!) coffee and not my usual mug of hot chocolate, I think of this month’s theme of thriving. For most of my life, I would tell you the way December played out and how “Christmasy” I felt matched the year I had. The worlds both interiorly and exteriorly working in together. It would dictate the amount of wonder I would allow myself to experience. But must that be the case? We can’t change the weather, nor can we change how our community, family, or friends react and respond to this time. We can decide to thrive. To take mini moments in the midst of care, preparations, work, and family obligations to smile, take in the lights of the Christmas tree, to smell the cookies baking in the oven. We can allow ourselves to see the beauty of a loved one, of the colder mornings, of the changing light as we approach the darkest day of the year. We can allow ourselves to see the joy of a loved one now gone, replaying our favorite memories. In part, that is what these Hot Chocolate Moments are about. We pause, remember we are human and have desires, thoughts, dreams, ideas, and longings. We must not be afraid of these moments simply because the well-being of another relies on us. We mustn’t be afraid of these moments because the world around us does not mimic where we wish to be in mind, time, and place.
So, make yourself a mug of hot chocolate, throw in a peppermint stick, heck, go crazy and add some whipped cream. Sit in your favorite chair and allow yourself to thrive, if only one second at a time. Don’t allow the weight of life to bury you underground. Use the weight to keep you grounded, and allow your wonders to help you thrive.
