July 16, 2025
Dear Dementia,
What is it with you and music? No, I know. I have read the research and know the science behind why, but it is almost haunting how you impact music and our lives.
If I get dementia, I can tell you right now, I will NOT want to listen to the music that was popular when I was between the ages of 15 and 25. YUCK! Not my taste at all, so I hope whoever my carer is, that they bother to ask me what music I want to listen to in that moment.
Back to the question. What is it with you and music? Shortly after my grandmother was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia, life became difficult and not solely (or even mostly) because of you. The world swirling around me and my family was dark, lonely, trying. Music was something that was important to us, even without you impacting our minds. Something was different about that time and the music we listened to, but even more so, the music I played on the piano.
Later that year, I ended up with the sheet music to Lorie Line’s, Threads of Love. A simple yet beautiful piece. I decided to teach it to myself, not bring it to lessons, or tell my piano teacher what I was doing. This was going to be for me, a test for myself. You see, I have a vision issue where my eyes don’t track properly and while hard work in vision therapy with a wonderful eye doctor helped with my reading, tennis, and golf, reading music never got where it “should” be at my level. I had long hoped that it would catch up with just a little more work, a little more concentration. It never did. Even to this day, my knowledge of music might be advanced, by my eyes ability to track to express that knowledge is still back in late-beginner.
Around this time, I resigned myself to the fact that this would always be an area that never improved. I once saw myself as becoming a professional concert pianist. I would day dream about it, and this realization was crushing. So, I wanted to test myself, to see if I could teach myself how to play a simple piece of music. I did, and while I am sure with the assistance of my piano teacher I could have made it better, I didn’t care. How does this relate to dementia? Well, the first person I performed it for was my Grandma Marie. Now, almost a year into her diagnosis, as she sat on that yellow and blue loveseat in our music room, I played the piano for my grandmother. I still remember her face after I finished playing. It was a look of pride, joy, and love. This piece became our piece even into her later stages. Music not only impacted my grandmother but it impacted me. And I don’t know if I would have played it for her if she was not diagnosed with dementia. It might have slipped into the quite repertoire that was performed for no one.
Because of you, music changed for me. Because of you, some music will always haunt me. Because of you I performed when I would have hid. Because of you, I try to encourage everyone I know to listen, to play, and to engage with music as often as possible. A statement, easier said than done sometimes.
Until tomorrow,
Kate
