It is no secret I have a weakness for hot chocolate.
It is still my hot beverage of choice, long after my peers switched to a daily coffee habit. So what does hot chocolate have to do with dementia? Everything and nothing at all.
Nothing at all? Our lives do not become a compressed, medical version of ourselves when dementia enters the picture. So moments for play, a treat, or a visit from a loved one should never become a line item on the care plan or viewed with a medical lens. It should happen simply because, and enjoyed for the beauty of being in a relationship with a loved one.
Life is made up of Moments. Dementia does not change this; these moments become more important with dementia. They are moments of joy, sorrow, care, and faith. So make some hot chocolate in your favorite mug, sit down, breathe, and savor the moment.
What does it mean to suffer? Why must it be negative? Can we better support each other in our suffering and death? In dementia more than other areas of hardship we have turned suffering into a negative word to strike from our vocabulary. Yet those with dementia do suffer. We ALL suffer.
“It’s true, I suffer a great deal — but do I suffer well? That is the question.” – St. Therese of Lisieux.
Do you and I suffer well? What does it mean to suffer well? Here is what it means to suffer well in my mind.
- To not allow the suffering and the cause of our suffering to become our entire identity.
- To not block out community, friends, family simply because life is not “perfect” or because we feel we don’t have anything cheery to say.
- To allow ourselves to find beauty and joy in the little things of life and in the bigger picture.
- To allow ourselves to try new things, to be bold in new adventures while understanding how our suffering might impact that activity.
What does it mean to you to suffer well. Do you suffer well? I know I struggle with this more than I would like to admit. How does your faith help you suffer well? How does your community help you suffer well?
