July 26, 2025
Dear Dementia,
Today is the Feast of St. Anne. Many look to her at the patron Saint of grandparents. While we know you enter the lives of more than our elders, so many grandparents are impacted by your arrival. Relationships are altered, dreams are crushed and distorted. Your grip on the family might be strong, but not strong enough prove that grandparents are not needed in a grandchild’s life.
When you entered my grandmother’s life, I was too young to be deemed a “care partner” in the traditional sense, but I was part of her care team. As a granddaughter I was there for her to listen, to spend time with her, to quietly assist her in various ways. In so many ways I have always been that kind of caregiver, wanting to take care of my grandparents and great-grandmother. It was misunderstood by most of my family, and even I didn’t fully understand that I was playing a bit of a caring role. And now, all these years later, I am grateful that you did not rip me from her life. That I was able to find purpose and still be a granddaughter.
You, cancer, other illnesses and health concerns, none of you can change the fact that a grandchild needs a relationship with their grandparents. A grandparent still needs a relationship with their grandchildren. I have been fortunate that I had a relationship with all four of my grandparents, my great-grandmother, and even great-uncles that played a bit of a grandparent role in my life. May St. Anne intercede for grandparents as they remain in relationship with those they love.
Until tomorrow,
Kate
