Blending our Lenten and Dementia Journey

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.” – Thomas Merton

As we enter this Lenten journey may we remember that we may not know where we are going. We don’t know the trials and triumphs ahead us. We are unsure of how we will grow and transform over these 40 days of Lent. And, as Care Partners twisting both the Lenten Journey and the Dementia Journey into one, we are reminded even more deeply of the unknowns that God has set before us and that we care called to something of a great ministry. We have in our hearts a desire to grow, to find the good, the true, and the beautiful along this path, but it can feel lonely as the needs of our day to day creeps further into our plans and we may not be able to keep our Lenten promises regarding prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. We are not alone on this journey, for the Father always sees us, for Jesus knows our human desires and pain, and the Holy Spirit is guiding us always.

As we receive our ashes we are reminded that from dust we came, and to dust, we shall return. Those living with dementia are often hyper-aware of this fact. We see the mortality of our loved ones and ourselves through this journey. We experience loss far more frequently than others, yet, there is beauty in that, a cause for finding ourselves grateful for the moments we are given, and the gifts we still can give. As part of Lent, we are asked to give alms, to share our time, talent, and treasure. One thing that we can give as care partners, or as individuals with the diagnosis of dementia, is ourselves. We may not have the ability to give as we once did or would like to, but through our selfless giving, this can be by helping our loved ones attend Mass or a service each week during Lent, to sit a moment or two longer, or smiling at the CNA and other care partners who look down, lost, and in need of something to lift their spirit, we are giving what we have.

As we pray, let us not think about doing more, but doing what we can with great devotion. Don’t overload your plate with 3 different daily emails, devotionals, books, and prayer challenges. Find something that is simple that can be done with great love, well. Some ideas may be:

To follow along and pray the rosary with, The Peace with Dementia Rosary by Matthew Estrade,
Read Matthew Kelly’s book Rediscover Lent or Rediscover Jesus
Sign up for Dynamic Catholic’s Best Lent Ever
Join the #LentFit Challenge through the Catholify App
Participate in a Marian Consecration through Fr. Michael Gaitley’s book, 33 Days to Morning Glory
Pray one Our Father together with your family, or loved with dementia after a meal, when you first get up, when you stop by for a visit and take in every word of the prayer together.

Do one act of prayer, and do it with great love, devotion, and intention.

As we Fast we find ourselves in a pattern continual reminders as we long for that which we gave up, are Fasting from. Those living with dementia or over 59 not required to partake in fasting from food, but maybe there is something we all can do? We are called to holiness, to grow closer to God, and what will help us get there? Only you can answer this question, but again, there is no need to be extreme, maybe it is one simple thing that reminds you of the great gift God has given us through his Son, Jesus, and that we are from dust, and to dust, we shall return.

I am praying for you as you walk your Lenten journey, please pray for me. We are a community of sojourners on this Dementia Journey, but we are also a community walking together towards our eternal home. May God bless you, always!

Published by Kathryne Fassbender

I am a Dementia and Creative Engagement Specialist. I am also the granddaughter of someone who lived with Vascular Dementia.

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