Will This Be The Home You Call Me Back To Visit?

Dear Dementia,

This family home is slipping through my fingers. The 25 years of shelter and warmth. As I shovel snow, I wonder, “Is this the home that will be the home you call me to visit?”
I walk through the rooms and smile as I see memories of the life that we lived. Is this the home that you will call me back to visit? If we meet one day, will home be 15 Pine and the memories we hold dear? Will the home be made of brick and warmth? Will the home be filled with my childhood?

If we shall meet, and I hope we never do, will this be the home you call me back to visit? This home at 15 Pine?

I often work with people who cry out for home. They want to go home. I think that it is not always the physical place they long for, but the people that filled those walls. I think of the people who cry out, and how little comfort I can bring them as the home they seek lives only in their hearts. If we are to meet, what will be the home I call out to go back to visit? I think of 15 Pine and the people my heart will long for, spent time within its walls. I think of my parents and grandparents, my brother, my neighbors, and my friends. I think of visits from distant family and the sounds that echoed through each room.

If we shall meet, and I hope we never do, will this be the home you call me back to visit? This home at 15 Pine?

At 29, I still have life to live, people to meet, and homes to make, but will this be the home you call me back to visit? So often, the people I serve long for their childhood home, not the home they built with their spouse or made for their children. 15 Pine was not my first home, nor was it my last, but in my almost 30 years of life, 15 Pine has been my home the longest, and from that, I must confess it is my Home, with a capital H. My Home here on earth. Will the years change that? Will this not be the home I seek? Will the people that walk through its threshold not be the people I long for, or will it be a hybrid of sorts?

Dementia, I hope we never meet, but if we do, will 15 Pine be the home you call me to visit?

May we never meet,

Kate

Published by Kathryne Fassbender

Creative Gerontologist, Speaker, Catholic Innovator. I am also the granddaughter of someone who lived with Vascular Dementia.

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