All of us have had those moments, watching that movie, that video, listening to that piece of music, that sweeps us away into a different world, were things become clearer, imaginative, and we find ourselves longing to stay there for as long as possible. But eventually we “snap out of it” and find ourselves back to were we were before that moment. But what if we could find the key to recreate these moments, to sustain them for a little while longer. For us, and for our loved ones living with dementia?
Living with dementia changes us, we know this, but mixed in with the changes, the losses, the trial, remains the beauty of the human heart to connect with each other, with things that matter most to us, and that tap into our emotions. We talk often about music and dementia, but I have seen it as well with mini school plays done in a community room, watching a movie with a great story, and with viewing art created by friends or famous artists. These are tools we can use to help us bring to life the joy and beauty life holds.
In order to do this, we must first become relational with those living with dementia. And, with each other. Unless we know the people before us, we cannot help them into this moments were life seems to transcend the trials of dementia.
Regardless of if you have known this person your entire life, or they are new to your community, here are something questions to ask yourself and the individuals to start to become relational with someone living with dementia, or to bring your relationship into this new chapter.
- Heritage
- Profession
- Hobbies
- Introverted or Extroverted
- Faith, Prayer Life, Ways of Living their Faith
- Type of Community they lived in or preferred
- Morning Person or Evening Person
- Community Involvement
- Education – Favorite Subjects
- Traveler? Places Traveled and Lived
- Favorite Foods
- Favorite Object from Home or Outside
- Preferred Clothing style
- Animal lover – what kind?
This is not even scratching the surface on what it means to provide person-centered care or becoming relational with someone living with dementia, but this is a start and one that allows us to find those moments of awe, of imagination, of connection with the heart of each person we work with, that emotional memory.
Whatever it is for that person that suspends them and sweeps them away, lean into that. If you don’t know what that might be, work to discover that thing. For most people, one of the arts is a good place to start.
Here are some things to consider when using the arts in care and connection
Music
Research tells us that the music that was popular during one’s teens and early twenties is the most impactful, what is more important is the music they chose to listen to during that time as their taste in music was forming. While one band or singer may have been the music to listen to, someone else or even a different genre altogether could have been when was listed to by this persona and so that is the music you should play.
When you find music someone connects with, make note of that for future reference, see the mood, the spirits, the joy. Could this be used to help the person cope with stress, or get moving when a care task needs to be completed? Think of the ways you can use this connection to a piece of music to help improve the quality of life.
